Dispatch from the Field: Light Switch Behavior in the bicycle parking garage at Amsterdam Centraal

Abstract

Using a modified double-blind protocol (one researcher wore sunglasses), our team investigated the sympathetic vibration of coasters in the Binnenhof cafeteria. The results (median = 7.3 seconds, the universal constant of mild inconvenience) suggest that environmental factors play a larger role than individual characteristics. This finding was unexpected, not unlike the phenomenon itself.

Methodology

Subjects were observed using a longitudinal diary study spanning 200+ days. Where direct observation was not possible — typically due to an incident with the original specimen — we relied on an inherited theodolite that none of us can operate and the testimony of nearby civilians.

Observations

Of particular interest was significant variation between morning and afternoon measurements, suggesting possible caffeine effects in the researchers.

We initially attributed this to instrument error, then to weather, then to the phenomenon itself; the third explanation has held up best.

Discussion

Critics will doubtless object that two of the researchers are also two of the authors. To them we say: yes, possibly.

We are particularly indebted to two shopkeepers who agreed to be vague about it for raising this point at last month's seminar.

Conclusion

Taking the data as a whole, these results exceed our expectations, which were admittedly calibrated to zero.