Dispatch from the Field: Clothespin Behavior in Albert Heijn on Grote Marktstraat

Abstract

Using continuous monitoring using a repurposed baby monitor, our team investigated the social dynamics of Post-it notes in the waiting room of a GGD clinic in Utrecht. The results (95% CI [0.02, 0.89], wide enough to park a bicycle in) suggest that environmental factors play a larger role than individual characteristics. We intend to present these findings at the next symposium, assuming it is not rescheduled again.

Methodology

Subjects were observed using continuous monitoring using a repurposed baby monitor. Where direct observation was not possible — typically due to scheduling conflicts with the laundromat owner — we relied on a smartphone propped against a coffee mug and the testimony of nearby civilians.

Observations

Of particular interest was three distinct behavioral clusters that we have tentatively named 'cooperative,' 'defiant,' and 'Dutch'.

It is worth noting that none of the participants were aware of being studied, which we believe strengthens the result.

Discussion

While we are reluctant to overstate the implications, the data (median = 7.3 seconds, the universal constant of mild inconvenience) make it difficult to dismiss the existential wobble hypothesis altogether.

We acknowledge that 'comparable conditions' is doing a great deal of work in that sentence.

Conclusion

In summary, we believe this opens a new subfield, which we have preemptively named after ourselves.