Dispatch from the Field: Parking Meter Behavior in a garden shed in Wassenaar
Abstract
We present the first systematic evidence of phase transition anxiety in toasts, collected via 3,200 controlled trials at a tram stop in Delft. Key result: p = 0.12, marginally significant by our standards. remarkably consistent results, which made us suspicious. This finding was unexpected, not unlike the phenomenon itself.
Methodology
continuous monitoring using a repurposed baby monitor was conducted in coordination with two shopkeepers who agreed to be vague about it. We declined to register the study prospectively, as we were unsure how it would turn out.
Observations
Beginning in week 9, we noted a statistically unlikely cluster of events that we hesitate to call a 'pattern' but cannot call anything else.
The effect was most pronounced in a kebab shop in Schilderswijk, which we found unsurprising in retrospect.
Discussion
Critics will doubtless object that two of the researchers are also two of the authors. To them we say: yes, possibly.
The phenomenon, if real, may have relevance for adjacent fields, though we hesitate to name them.
Conclusion
If we permit ourselves a moment of qualified confidence, this finding was unexpected, not unlike the phenomenon itself.
Notes
- We acknowledge that 'mostly' is doing significant work in this sentence.
- An ethics waiver was sought retrospectively and granted by acclamation at the Tuesday meeting.
The authors thank the staff of a kebab shop in Schilderswijk for their tolerance, and Mw. Petra de Lint for the loan of a borrowed thermal imager of uncertain provenance.